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Revenge of the Sith: Forbidden: A Lament
Obi-Wan had to ask another Jedi to take his place at the security meetings. Though they did not understand why since Obi-Wan was more well-versed in such matters, they did not question him. How many days had it been since that day in the garden when he had told her they could not see each other anymore?
It was ironic, when he found out later that she had been having someone else attend meetings for her as well. Great minds think alike, as they say. But despite this, he spent what little free time he had watching her interact with fellow security officer Captain Typho and found himself wandering by the dojo when she was training other handmaidens even though he knew very well that she could sense his presence. He hoped she was too sidetracked to notice.
Though they had officially parted ways, he could not help himself. Just to have a quick glance, to bathe in her soothing presence even if only for a little while and from a distance. It was better than nothing. He constantly strained against his heart which wanted him to go over and speak with her. He even fantasized about stealing her away from her co-workers, seeing their shocked and confused faces as he pulled her into an empty room to tell her he wanted to take back everything he said, that he would not ever want to be without her again.
He was almost glad when Anakin and he were assigned to the Outer Rim Sieges. At least there he was thrown into his work and had little time to think about Sabé.
No, he thought, that was surely a lie, for despite everything, thoughts of her were the only thing that kept him centred, at peace, as he strove to remain true to himself and not ever strike out in anger. She was the catalyst that inspired him strive to be a better knight and Jedi Master. To honour her he would showcase military prowess on the battlefield.
Anakin and he were such a good team and it was hard for Obi-Wan to let it sink in that he had anything to do with physically harming Sabé. Always striving to be optimistic, he let that little piece of possibility filter into the back of his thoughts as the two of them complimented each other in various skirmishes.
Then came the assignment from the Council to retrieve Chancellor Palpatine, in which Anakin could have left him to die, but he did not. It was not the first time Anakin had saved his life.
But upon returning to Coruscant and reporting to the Council, Obi-Wan found his thoughts slipping once more to the woman he missed more than anyone else. Would it hurt to see her once while Anakin was preoccupied with his wife? He shook his head. No, it was best not to... It was not as if Sabé would want to see him anyway.
Later on that evening as he lay in bed, he regretted the fact he had not gone to see her, desperately wanting to, but knowing it was wrong to want this. He recognised that even when they were not able to see each other, but were still on speaking terms, he was far more at ease than he ever had been since the day he told her they must stop seeing each other.
This inner turmoil interrupted his normal sleep pattern and left him feeling drained the next morning.
