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Missing Scenes
Pre Revenge of the Sith: The Old Ways Are Lost
It is much in part of the Jedi Knight's healing skills that Sabe found
herself back on her feet so quickly. Glancing in the mirror she can
barely make out the damage done to her only a couple days ago. The
droids had done a magnificent job as always to which she was grateful.
Though her head was still a bit tender from the concussion and her nose
and jaw still throbbed a bit it was nothing compared to how she felt
back on the freighter ship.
But the entire experience was unsettling and it left SAbe with more then a little on her mind. She feared for Padme's safety and was reluctant to even see her mistress when the Senator had rushed to the infirmary to learn how she was doing and more importantly what happened.
She was wise and didn't breathe a word of her husbands role in all of this. She would not place Padme's life on the line because of her need to speak the truth and so she carefully dodged the matter as always. Claiming instead that her ruse had turned to be a little more then accurate. But Padme saw through her act and soon Sabe found herself having to dodge the awkward questions once more.
"Sabe I'm your friend you don't need to hide things from me. I'm only trying to help. I'm not so easily shaken surely you know this!
What happened? Why is it that you're the only one of the 'prisoners' who was harmed like this?"
Sabe had only shook her head in reply patting her on the shoulder as she tried to laugh it off saying she didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Which in a sense was true but even so such a volatile reaction was hardly necessary though she too kept this to herself.
Sabe, please this isn't funny! I'm worried about you. The missions you've gone on before had never had this kind of result; I need to know what happened to ensure it doesnt happen again.
She bit her tongue so hard she thought it would fall off in her mouth. She would not speak her thoughts or make foolish demands. She knew where her mistress stood on the matter and would not endanger or trouble her further with her own fears and concerns. She would be watchful and cautious and when the Sith that posed as a Jedi (or so it felt) made his wrong move she would be there to end the facade once and for all. But for now she continued in silence only shaking her head in reply leaving the Senator to sigh loudly in frustration.
Fine keep your thoughts to yourself then. I thought we were past this point in our friendship but it would seem i was wrong. It's bad enough I have to deal with this from Anakin I don't need it from you too."
"Do not compare me with him. I have my reasons for my silence and believe if you knew why you would wish I had remained silent as well. Please I'm doing this for your own safety. You'll just have to trust me on this my lady."
The conversation thankfully came round permitting Sabe and the Senator to part ways on a positive note which helped lighten her d for the most part. But nothing could compare to the subtle invite given from Jedi knight Kenobi who had invited her to join him the Garden of a thousand fountains to discuss matters of the war.
Of course she had agreed inwardly knowing that it would be one of many matters discussed hopefully most being positive. Either way any time spent in his presence was a pleasure one she always looked forward to.
Having completed her make-up to cover the barely visible bruising that still remain SAbe was soon on her way to the Jedi temple feeling even better as she stepped outside then she felt in days.
It took Obi-Wan much longer to send the request to meet Sabé than he had thought. In fact, as he made his way into the garden, to the very spot that so reminded him of Sabé and of Naboo, he realised he hadn't dreaded a conversation so much in his life.
How could he do this? As much as he loved Anakin, he was a handful. If someone wasn't starting something, than he was. He would not question Sabé about the possibility that she was blackmailing Anakin with the information. If she had in fact held it over Anakin's head, she probably had a good reason to do so. He also knew it would have been an empty threat, for she would rather die than betray her mistress.
And Force help him, he was in love with her. Even if he would never admit to it nor reveal his feelings, it was there and had been for many years. Anakin's off-colour remark about Sabé sinking in her claws was dismissed without thought as if anyone had done so, it was he himself. After all, he had given her his padawan braid and she had turned the token into an almost spiritual object...
He wondered then, if the ancient stories were true. Could two souls be united by trial and fire? Could they in fact already be joined together with an invisible bond? It would explain their Force connection...
And it was upon this revelation that he felt the familiar hum as she neared the garden.
Yet despite this, he would have to turn her away. It was selfish to want to be with her, to relish each chance they had to be together, indulging himself in her presence. It was probably for the best to end it.
She entered the gardens silently careful as always not to draw attention while not acting suspicious. After all though it wasn't common for outsiders to meet the Jedi in these gardens it wasn't unheard of. Her hand slipped to the blade to her side seeking the worn relic to the past as unconciously she twisted it in silent anticipation. She didn't really need to carry them with her this time for she had no training class today another reminder of the events of a couple of days ago. But still the ribbon brought her comfort and she was loathed not to carry it with her as though inwardly fearing that an unseeing threat that at any moment could emerge and attack.
But she knew he was busy doing other things training some of the younglings as Padme said or as Sabe imagined showing off more like. It was ironic to think that such a volatile personality would find such joy being around children. Personally if I was a mother he would be the last person I'd ever have near my child she thought darkly. To think that Padme had even contempleted nevermind suggested how one day she hoped to start a family with him still left Sabe reeling.
At the soft hum that marked Obi-Wan's presence Sabe promptly buried the dark thoughts as she felt a new wave of joy fill her instead. It took all of her willpower not to run in his direction and so instead she briskly walked until she found herself entering the region she had inwardly nicknamed 'little Naboo'.
The fact she wore makeup alerted Obi-Wan to the fact that she was concealing marks from the attack a few days ago, but despite his reluctance and what he knew he had to say, he was very happy to see her.
His heart and soul screamed at him to rush over to her, embrace her, tell her how he would not fail her again, that he would always be there to protect her, that nothing would separate them... But his mind knew better: that this could not be. He would not let his feelings destroy or dishonour her. If protecting her meant sacrificing, he would stand up to that challenge.
'How are you feeling?' he asked when she arrived, struggling not give her a hug, knowing it would make what was to come even harder to bear.
She practically beamed upon catching sight of him as she bowed deeply in greeting.
"It is wonderful to see you again."
She said softly before her smile faded slightly at his question. Though for all appearances he was happy to see her there was something obviously on his mind. No doubt matters pertaining to the war she surmised once more in respect of his position and all that it demanded of him. AT his question she blushed slightly feeling concious of herself and the make-up warned to hide the marks though she buried it as best she could.
"I'm doing much better now, thanks to you I've been informed I will be able to return to duty by the end of the week."
She casted a wry smile.
"To think I used to alwasy complain how I wish I could have a couple days off to just unwind, well now taht I have them I find myself growing crazy with boredom. I'm not used to having to rest like this.
But enough about me, how have you been Obi-Wan? I hope the information I collected for the council has proved helpful."
She offered once more grateful to be givne this oppertunity to assist the Jedi to whom she now held in high regard.
'We have been most grateful for your services,' he replied in a business-like tone, but resisted referring to her as "my lady" because such formality in this private location would hurt too much, for the both of them. Knowing what was to come, her pleasant d did little to aid his unease.
He turned partially away from her, as if trying to regain some semblance of courage to do what must be done. I can't, his heart exclaimed. They didn't have much. They didn't get to spend much time together and as it was with the war raging across the galaxy, he would be off on another mission soon anyway... He tried to rationalise all the reasons why telling her they shouldn't, that they couldn't spend anymore time together wasn't necessary. But the arguments to do so were so much more weighted than his selfish desires.
Once he faced her again, he moved closer to touch her cheek, just looking at her for a moment. He wanted to be lost in her again, if only for a moment. He recalled the kisses they had shared in this very spot and thought not lost...found and swallowed hard. 'Sabé...'
My darling, my love...
'I'm afraid I have some bad news.'
His cool professionalism threw Sabe off gaurd but she didn't say a word about it remaining silent in reply as she gave him a polite smile her eyes however belies the subtle confusion.
As he turns away Sabe felt her heart slip to her throat. Something was wrong, definately wrong. Furrowing her brow she moved to step closer in concern.
"Obi-Wan are you okay? Whats wrong?"
She asked softly as she could almost feel the sadness and struggle pouring from him. As he turned to face her Sabe remained silent trying to find some small comfort to his touch as she leaned into it slightly. But instead all she could feel was the dreaded instinct that something bad about about to happen.
At his quiet words she nodded slightly trying to brace herself for the worse. Yet even as she did so she couldn't quite fathom what it could be and hoped it wouldn't involve the comprimise of Obi-Wan's safety or his position within the council.
"...What is it?"
She quietly asked her eyes studying him closely as she wished inwardly there could be a way she could comfort him in even some small way.
The concern she held for him did little to ease his dread. He knew it was best not to delay the inevitable. 'Sabé, I don't want to say this...'
To protect you, to preserve your good name.. he thought, still trying to convince himself that this was right, though everything on the inside was telling him this was wrong.
'I think it's for the best that we...' he began, but his throat caught.
His head and his heart ached; it was hard to look at her, but he refused to look away.
The hand that was on her cheek fell to her shoulder momentarily and then to his side. 'If we continue seeing each other, it will only put you in danger again and I couldn't live with myself if there was some way I could prevent it.'
Sabe eyes wavered slightly as he began. She could feel the sorrow weighing heavy in his words and she feared to know what the cause of it was.
But as soon as he quietly tried to continue Sabe's heart clenched as she realized with immense dread just what he was about to say. She never considered herself to be an emotional woman by any means yet as she felt his hand fall to her shoulder and then to his side, Sabe could almost feel her heart drop to the ground and shatter as though it were made of glass. She could almost imagine the millions little shards that is left of it now rested at her feet. Yet by some miracle of the gods the tears didn't spill. They surfaced that was certain but they didn't fall and for that she was grateful.
Her hand slipped to the ribbon on her blade and she clutched at it till her knuckles turned white.
"...I understand."
She barely managed to whisper, knowing in that instant that Anakin had told Obi-Wan that he was aware of her affections for him. Yet even as she cursed the Jedi's knight to rot in the bowels of the abyss she couldn't help but be relieved that this meant that Anakin wasn't aware that Obi-Wan had recipricated her feelings. For if he had it was certain Obi-Wan would not be speaking to her alone here. At least his honour and good name hasn't been comprimised she inwardly surmised trying to take solice in what little she could.
Stepping back she took in a shakey breath before glancing away blinking away the tears before they attempted to slip out of her control. She would not show such emotion in front of him. It was hard enough for him as it is without me cracking like this she inwardly ordered herself. As she quietly turned her attentions back to him once more as she offered a sad smile.
She wanted to find the words to express how grateful she was to have been able to share the few moments they were able to have together. To say she would cherish them always, that no matter where their pathes would take them he would always hold her heart. That he would ever remain her knight, the warrior who understood the true meaning of courage through peace. But her heart would not permit her to speak and so she studied him for a moment. Once more placing his features to memory for what she believed to be the final time all the while hoping somehow he would understand all that she wanted to say but could not.
Then without another word she lightly reached out to touch his cheek one last time as if to say good-bye before quietly turning to walk away. As she left the gardens she forced herself not to look back, it would be so easy to do so and yet Sabe knew if she did so she would not be able to leave and all would be for nought. He had his duties, then so did she and to turn back now would only disgrace them both and so she continued in silence. Yet as she stepped out of the gardens Sabe couldn't help but feel as though a piece of her soul had just been torn from her and left behind with the one who remained in the sanctuary of 'little Naboo'.
You understand? he thought. He knew she would. She would just take it and deal with it, but his heart was breaking. Did they mean so little that she would not fight him on this?
But no, no, he shouldn't think like that, for he knew better, despite everything.
And just as he reached up to touch the hand on his cheek, she took it away. It was only now she she walked away from him, without looking back that he realised just how much he truly loved her. It was deeper and more profound than he had expected and each step that took her further away from him felt like another part of his soul was leaving with her.
He placed a hand on a tree trunk, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the back of his hand. His exhale was slowly and shakey as he tried to regain some semblance of peace. Obi-Wan felt as though he had betrayed her and himself by saying those words. He wanted to take them back, but for her safety and to appease Anakin and to adhere to the Code forbidding attachments, he couldn't. He pictured the way she had looked at him, the pain, and the one that now hurt the worst: her gratitude and deep-rooted caring for him that time and separation would never and had never displaced. Unshedable tears welled in his eyes, his fingernails scraping the bark on the tree.
His comlink beeped at him, but he didn't register the noise for a good while. Another Jedi had to actually come to retrieve him for an emergency Council meeting. He nodded to their request and took a last look at the garden, knowing he would not be returning. He would have to let go of it though it was as close as he could get to the peace he felt in Sabé's presence, for that too was something to be left behind.
